


The Heroes of Villainy

by LucindaAM



Category: DCU
Genre: Gender Neutral, Heroes to Villains and Villains to Heroes, No Smut, Reader is a sasser, Weird kind of fluff, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24881872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucindaAM/pseuds/LucindaAM
Summary: When do the good guys become the bad guys? When they’ve got you tied to a chair in the middle of an empty warehouse with at LEAST six guns on you. That’s when.Read something on Instagram or Tumblr once that set up a scene where someone from (for example; Make a Wish) was tasked with getting the villains of the story to come see sick kids and in the end, the "heroes" of the story, wanting to find the "bad guys" are constantly kidnapping and/or harassing the poor Make a Wish Employee which means the villains have to go rescue the poor employee.Loved the idea and had to take it for a spin.
Relationships: Bane (DCU) & Reader, Catwoman (DCU) & Reader, Joker (DCU) & Reader, Lex Luthor (DCU) & Reader, Poison Ivy (DCU) & Reader, Reader VS Justice League (DCU), Reader&Villains, Riddler (DCU) & Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	The Heroes of Villainy

When do the good guys become the bad guys? When they’ve got you tied to a chair in the middle of an empty warehouse with at LEAST six guns on you. That’s when. 

You sighed and sat quietly, trying not to shuffle around too much. You knew from experience that movement of any kind led to the ropes chaffing and THAT was just UNCOMFORTABLE. 

So, you resigned yourself to waiting, frustrated the so called “supes” couldn’t even give you a movie to watch in the meantime. I mean really. At this point, it was just cruel and unusual. 

“You know this would be over a lot faster for you if you’d just give us a phone number or an address.” A voice called from the distance. 

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah? And then what Abs of Steel? You gonna take them a thank you card for bringing smiles to all those sick kids? I don’t THINK so.” 

The voice sputtered and sounded somewhat petulant when it murmured; “Well we COULD. You don’t know.” 

You chose to ignore it. 

A chunk of shadow separated itself from the larger mass of shadow that surrounded you and dropped down in front of you. You glanced up at it bored out of your mind. “You should be helping us. We’re the heroes here.” 

You scoffed. “Yeah. Nothing says hero like kidnapping a Make a Wish Employee and then tying them up in the middle of bum-freaking-nowhere. Tell me, Bats, while you’re here . . . are those guns pointed at me? Or are you just happy to see me?” 

The sounds of shuffling weapons echoed around you before Batman turned and glared at the shadows. The noises abruptly cut off, but your point had been made and both you and Batman knew it. 

“You shouldn’t protect them.” He countered. “They’re villains.” 

“Yeah? Then why aren’t they behind bars? Look . . . Bats . . .” You trailed off and glanced at the surrounding darkness. “. . . And assorted ‘supes’. You keep putting these guys away and they keep doing their time. As far as the law is concerned, they’re free until they slip up again. Until then, they do a lotta good helping those sick kids so unless you’re gonna charge me with something . . . I think we’re done here.” 

Superman flew down and placed a hand on Batman’s shoulder. “We could charge you with obstruction.” He started. 

You laughed. “Obstruction of what? Justice? Afraid the laws clear on that too, Superman. Make a Wish abides by the same HIPAA laws that the rest of the country observes. I can’t tell you any patient information INCLUDING visitors. So, as far as I see it, the only ones breaking any laws here are you and your group of . . . what was it again? Oh, yes. ‘Heroes’.” 

Superman had the decency to look somewhat abashed. Batman’s expression, per usual, didn’t change a single iota. 

“We could force you.” Batman started. 

You shrugged a shoulder. “Do it. Let the world see just how far you’d go to protect the innocent. Don’t think they’d feel so reassured if they knew you were willing to go THROUGH the innocent to do it.” 

There was an awkward silence in the air before Superman’s golden-boy conscious finally broke through. “Maybe we should all just go our separate ways . . . pretend this never happened.” He offered. 

Batman shook his head. “No. This is our best lead . . . we’ve got to . . .” 

The sound of an explosion ripped through the warehouse. The shockwave knocked your chair over and you suddenly found yourself lying very uncomfortably, hands still tied behind you and feet still tied to the chair. You had a single moment to question how your life had ended up like this before green vines shot out of the gloom and wrenched your chair into the air, flinging you in the opposite direction. 

You were only airborne for a second before strong arms, way too large and heaving to be any kind of natural plucked you out of the air. 

“Thanks Bane.” You murmured. The man patted you awkwardly on the head before he stumbled into the fray, taking on the ‘heroes’. A woman in a black suit sidled up to you and made short work of your bonds. “Thanks, Selina.” You smiled at her. 

She sent you a saucy wink and nudged you towards the giant hole in the wall someone had clearly had fun making. 

“Riddle me this.” A voice echoed as you climbed over the rubble. “What’s a person got to do around here to change baddies into goodies?” 

You smirked. “Get kidnapped by the good-guys, apparently.” 

Riddler doffed his cap before skipping into the warehouse through the hole you’d just left. 

You shook your head as you turned back towards your escape route. It was nearly pitch-black outside and you nearly tripped as you stumbled over some rubble. A hand shot out to catch you and you very nearly took it before you recognized in the faint moonlight the pale white hand. You snatched your hand away and took the fall instead. 

An eerie cackle rent the night air. “Can’t fool you, can I?” Joker asked, smiling madly down at you. 

You rubbed your scratched knees and shook your head. “Not anymore.” You grumbled, still remembering the first time Make a Wish had sent you to find Joker for a kid. He’d been all to amused, toying with the person he was sure was bait of some kind for the Justice League. You couldn't count the number of times you'd been joy buzzed. Still though, you were lucky Joker had been the first villain a kid had asked for. Though he’d been skeptical, you’d eventually managed to talk him into taking the meeting. He’d been just insane enough to agree and eventually, the rest of the villains started agreeing to meet their child fans too. They only had one condition. They’d only go to meetings you set up and only when they knew the Justice League would be busy elsewhere. Normally the villains not meeting fans would team up to distract the ‘heroes’ while the others would make short work of bringing a little joy to the sick kids. 

It was the little things like that that made the long nights in cemeteries, chemical plants and swamps, tracking down the villains worth every moment. 

“Don’t suppose the goody-two-shoes in there got you to reveal any trade secrets, did they?” Joker asked, leaning closer to you. He was stroking the flower he always kept on his lapel and you knew that if you didn’t have a good answer, you’d be maced with whatever concoction of laughing gas he’d felt like for the day. If you were lucky, it wouldn’t be lethal . . . but you knew better than to trust your luck. 

“And do their homework for them?” You scoffed. “Not a chance. If they’re so good then they can figure out how to beat you guys without any help from me. Besides, after what they pulled? I wasn’t in a helping mood.” You picked yourself up and let out a disdainful sniff as you crossed your arms over your chest. 

Joker let out another cackle, body bent almost entirely backwards. He jumped up abruptly and slung an arm around your shoulders. “That’s why I like you.” He said. He pulled a flower out of thin air and handed it to you with a regal bow. You took it suspiciously and held it out in front of you as Joker straightened and then did several backflips into the warehouse where the sounds of intense fighting could still be heard. 

As soon as he was out of sight, you started moving back through the alleyways, trying to find your way back to the heart of Gotham. Hopefully you could find a payphone somewhere. Commissioner Gordon didn’t like what you did for your day job but even he had a soft spot for the kids. He’d told you if anything like this ever happened, you could call into the station and someone would come pick you up. Of course, you had a feeling he thought he’d be rescuing you from the villains themselves and not from the supes he allied himself with. 

In the end, it didn’t matter. You got to the end of the warehouse district right as a sleek black limo rolled up to the curb. The drivers side door open and a beautiful woman in a modern chauffer's uniform stepped out. 

You smiled. “Evenin’ Mercy. You here for me?” 

Predictably, Mercy didn’t crack a smile, but she did nod as she opened a door and gestured you inside. You climbed into the car; grateful you weren’t going to have to take a ride in a smelly police cruiser. 

“Mr. Luthor.” You said respectfully to the man sitting across from you. 

Mercy got back into the car and started driving. 

“And how’s my favorite Make a Wish Employee doing today?” Lex asked. 

You smiled. “Can’t complain.” 

“I was sorry to hear about your troubles earlier this evening.” 

You shrugged a shoulder. “People say I work in a dangerous field. Though . . . I don’t think they really understand which part of it is dangerous.” 

You and Lex shared a knowing smile. 

“Where can Mercy drop you?” He asked. 

“Same place as usual, if you don’t mind.” You responded. 

The rest of blessedly short car ride was quiet before Mercy pulled up outside your pitiful excuse for an apartment building. As usual, Lex looked at it with barely concealed disdain but he knew better than to offer to upgrade you. 

You were happy with your life. Besides the kidnapping from the well-meaning supe every now and again that was. 

“Are you still on for tomorrow, Mr. Luther?” You asked, stepping out of the limo. 

He smiled. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Who am I meeting with again?” 

“Little Timmy Atkin. He asked me to tell you that he would; ‘really, really like to know how you beat up Superman the last time you two fought because it was . . . AWESOME’.” 

Lex’s lips curled up into a smile. “I’ll have to prepare something . . . AWESOME to show him then.” He said. “Have a good night!” 

He waved a hand as the limo pulled away and you trudged up to your apartment ready for a good night's sleep. 

It wasn’t usual, what you did. But you sure did love every minute of it.

**Author's Note:**

> The DC universe isn't my usual playground, so I need feedback. What did you think? Lemme know in the comments. Also - if you know what post I'm talking about, lemme know! I'd love to give them credit, but I can't find it.


End file.
